From another time

I stood, alone in the open mental space between my closed eyelids and my conscious self, in solitary communion with my Creator. I stood, oblivious to Ai Wen on my right, to Ken Mi on my left, Marcus behind and Eddie in front, aware only of the presence of the One who had put me where I am now. I stood and felt only the immense gratitude rising from my innermost being, felt only the deepest debt towards my Saviour, felt only the strongest need rising from the weakest spirit. I stood and cried.
All my worries, anxieties, burdens, heartaches, heartwrenches, soulsearches, questions, pleas, calls poured out that day as I cried at Solid Rock. My mind, body and soul purged itselves of the emotional and mental slush that had accumulated since I stepped onto British soil. The tears reached into the recesses of my private being, tore out the thoughts I stupidly kept from God and laid them bare before Him. All I could say was "Have them all, Lord, please".
I had been having problems adjusting to my new environment. Being a first-year student away from home was a very scary experience and no amount of warnings and advice would have prepared me for the actual difficulty I had which jaggernauted its way through my peace of mind. If my mental state could be measured on an ECG graph, the time period of the last 5 weeks would be an electric line of total chaos. That's the only way I can describe it: chaos. Chaos. Total, upside-down-inside-out, gut-wrenching chaos. I never had a moments peace from the inner voice which mocked at my distance away from everything I knew, loved, cherished and had taken for granted. It teased me with dreams of home, dangled false threads of hope in front of my eyes, pretended to be my friend and then cruelly dismissed me in public.
I was at a lost, desperate for release. All prayers seems unanswered, cries to heaven only echoed emptily around me. It was in this state that I attended Solid Rock for the first time in the Portland Building. It was also the first time I cried at a church service.
Standing there, singing words which describe exactly how I was feeling, then hearing God's voice through the words of comfort which followed, just broke something down in me. I cried and the leaden weight in my soul was just lifted and was replaced by His gentle Spirit taking its place in my life. I cannot tell what it is that was gone, I cannot even begin to say ---