These are the words of King Solomon, one of the wisest kings in the world...
Ecclesiastes 2
Pleasures Are Meaningless
1 I thought in my heart, "Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good." But that also proved to be meaningless. 2 "Laughter," I said, "is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?" 3 I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly—my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives.4 I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. 5 I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. 7 I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. 8 I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well—the delights of the heart of man. 9 I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor.11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I've been thinking on the issue of enjoyment lately. Perhaps cos i'm not working now so i'm free to think about such stuff again. It's hard for me to reconcile christianity and pleasure. Don't get me wrong, i don't believe that God doesn't approve of us enjoying ourselves, or doing things we like so long as it's not immorally incorrect. I believe God created many things on earth for us to enjoy. I still take time to relax and do things i enjoy once in a while. Who doesnt want to have fun? I'm not exception... If i had the money and time, i'd love to do so many things... But my conscience pricks me at times, am i focusing on enjoyment and pleasures so much that i neglect what's truly important in life? Why should I spend money on making myself happy when there are so many other poor people in the world who worry about what to eat next? Or as in saw in china, how the kids use mud slopes as slides to entertain themselves. And here i am thinking of spending money on expensive entertainment... I could use the time and money to invest in more lasting and meaningful things. It just troubles and disturbs me. Some people may think i'm too extreme, or legalistic perhaps. I guess it's one of those grey areas, and not for me to judge others, but to let the holy spirit teach me, how to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, but not to crave after pleasure.I'd like to think how you guys view this? I'm open to discussion and comments :)
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Call to Prayer
Dear solidrockers, past and present :)
As we're approaching a new academic year (for those who are still studying in notts...), i'm sure there'll be mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement. Well, i'm speaking for myself at least... But let's not forget to set aside time to wait upon the Lord and ask Him what He wants us to do in the new academic year...
For those who are furthering your studies elsewhere, i pray you'll settle down into your new environment and find a new community of believers there :) For the fresh grads, CONGRATS! heh. If youve already found yourself a job PRAISE GOD! God has placed you where you are for a PURPOSE. After experiencing a taste of work life, i've realized it's not a bed of roses, and often it's easy to fall away if there isn't a strong support of believers in your workplace or if you're not in a cell group. I've realized spending time with God consistently is very important if i wanna be a light in the marketplace! For those who have yet to find a job... dont kan chiong too much hor, it takes a lot of patience and trust, but trust that God knows the plans He has for you. I pray He'll continue to guide you and open doors for you.
For those who don't know, Lena, Andrew, Jason and myself will be serving in the SR committee in the coming year. We're in the midst of the praying and planning, honestly, things are still very hazy. But there have been many things God has put in our hearts. I'm urging all of you to keep us in prayer as we plan... that we would seek God FIRST, and that we'll hear from Him clearly what He wants us to do. Pray for UNITY within SR... amongst the committee and of course amongst all of us. We'd really love to everyone having a part to play in SR, and if there's anything God has placed in your heart for SR, or if there's anything you'd like to see in SR in the coming year, please feel free to voice them... Can email me at pphor@yahoo.com.sg or solidrock.notts@gmail.com Thanks!
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1
As we're approaching a new academic year (for those who are still studying in notts...), i'm sure there'll be mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement. Well, i'm speaking for myself at least... But let's not forget to set aside time to wait upon the Lord and ask Him what He wants us to do in the new academic year...
For those who are furthering your studies elsewhere, i pray you'll settle down into your new environment and find a new community of believers there :) For the fresh grads, CONGRATS! heh. If youve already found yourself a job PRAISE GOD! God has placed you where you are for a PURPOSE. After experiencing a taste of work life, i've realized it's not a bed of roses, and often it's easy to fall away if there isn't a strong support of believers in your workplace or if you're not in a cell group. I've realized spending time with God consistently is very important if i wanna be a light in the marketplace! For those who have yet to find a job... dont kan chiong too much hor, it takes a lot of patience and trust, but trust that God knows the plans He has for you. I pray He'll continue to guide you and open doors for you.
For those who don't know, Lena, Andrew, Jason and myself will be serving in the SR committee in the coming year. We're in the midst of the praying and planning, honestly, things are still very hazy. But there have been many things God has put in our hearts. I'm urging all of you to keep us in prayer as we plan... that we would seek God FIRST, and that we'll hear from Him clearly what He wants us to do. Pray for UNITY within SR... amongst the committee and of course amongst all of us. We'd really love to everyone having a part to play in SR, and if there's anything God has placed in your heart for SR, or if there's anything you'd like to see in SR in the coming year, please feel free to voice them... Can email me at pphor@yahoo.com.sg or solidrock.notts@gmail.com Thanks!
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1
Friday, August 18, 2006
ThePastor and his son
Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the
Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand
out Gospel Tracts.
This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his
son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as
well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest
clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready."
His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?"
"Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out."
Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain."
The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, "But Dad, aren't people
still going to Hell, even though it's raining?"
Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather."
Despondently, the boy asks, ?Dad, can I go? Please?"
His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are
the tracts, be careful son."
"Thanks Dad!"
And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old
boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing
everybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract.
After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet
and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for
someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then
he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to
the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but
nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered.
He waited but still no answer.
Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something
stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked
loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there
on the front porch. He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.
Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly
asked, "What can I do for you, son?"
With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy
said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you
that *JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last
Gospel Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE."
With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called
to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!"
Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the
pulpit. As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have testimony or
want to say anything?"
Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her
feet.
As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face,
"No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see,
before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time
ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a
particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I
came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to
live.
So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of
my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then
stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my
neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to
leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs
startled me. I thought, "I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go
away."
I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and
more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking
loudly. I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be? Nobody
ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck
and
started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and
louder.
When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for
there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I
had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to
you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long
been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice,
"Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU."
Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand.
As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I
closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I
went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them
any more. You see---I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the
address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I have come
here to
personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick
of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell."
There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor
to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad
descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was
seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.
Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this
universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor
for his son... Except for One. This Father also allowed His Son to go
out into a cold and dark world. He received His Son back with joy
unspeakable, and as all of heaven shouted praises and honor to The King,
the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality
and power and every name that is named.
Blessed are your eyes for reading this message. Don't let this message
die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people!
Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone
close to you. Do not be too shy to share that wonderful message.
Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand
out Gospel Tracts.
This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his
son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as
well as pouring down rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest
clothes and said, "OK, dad, I'm ready."
His Pastor dad asked, "Ready for what?"
"Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out."
Dad responds, "Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring down rain."
The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, "But Dad, aren't people
still going to Hell, even though it's raining?"
Dad answers, "Son, I am not going out in this weather."
Despondently, the boy asks, ?Dad, can I go? Please?"
His father hesitated for a moment then said, "Son, you can go. Here are
the tracts, be careful son."
"Thanks Dad!"
And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old
boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing
everybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract.
After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet
and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for
someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then
he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to
the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but
nobody answered. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered.
He waited but still no answer.
Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something
stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked
loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there
on the front porch. He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.
Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly
asked, "What can I do for you, son?"
With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy
said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you
that *JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU* and I came to give you my very last
Gospel Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE."
With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave. She called
to him as he departed. "Thank you, son! And God Bless You!"
Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the
pulpit. As the service began, he asked, "Does anybody have testimony or
want to say anything?"
Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her
feet.
As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face,
"No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see,
before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time
ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a
particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I
came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to
live.
So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of
my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then
stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my
neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and brokenhearted I was about to
leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs
startled me. I thought, "I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go
away."
I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and
more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking
loudly. I thought to myself again, "Who on earth could this be? Nobody
ever rings my bell or comes to see me." I loosened the rope from my neck
and
started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and
louder.
When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for
there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I
had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to
you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long
been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice,
"Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU."
Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand.
As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I
closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I
went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them
any more. You see---I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the
address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I have come
here to
personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick
of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell."
There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor
to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad
descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was
seated. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.
Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this
universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor
for his son... Except for One. This Father also allowed His Son to go
out into a cold and dark world. He received His Son back with joy
unspeakable, and as all of heaven shouted praises and honor to The King,
the Father sat His beloved Son on a throne far above all principality
and power and every name that is named.
Blessed are your eyes for reading this message. Don't let this message
die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people!
Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone
close to you. Do not be too shy to share that wonderful message.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Needing God in our lives TODAY
I need you, Lord, I really do
Every day I need you Lord
But this day especially,
I need some extra strength
To face what ever is to be.
This day more than any day
I need to feel you near,
To fortify my courage
And to overcome my fear.
By myself, I cannot meet
The challenge of the hour,
There are times when humans help,
But we need a higher power
To assist us bear what must be borne,
and so dear Lord, I pray -
Hold on to my trembling hand
And be near me today.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Thank You for Giving to the Lord
Navigation: R \ Ray Boltz \ Thank You
I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me;
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea.
We heard the angels singing
Then someone called your name.
We turned and saw a young man running
And he was smiling as he came.
And he said, "Friend you may not know me now."
And then he said, "But wait,
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
Then another man stood before you
And said, "Remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money,
But you gave it anyway.
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that's why I'm here today."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
One by one they came
Far as the eye could see.
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity.
Little things that you had done,
Sacrifices made,
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven, now proclaimed.
And I know up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes.
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord.
He said, "My child, look around you.
Great is your reward."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me;
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea.
We heard the angels singing
Then someone called your name.
We turned and saw a young man running
And he was smiling as he came.
And he said, "Friend you may not know me now."
And then he said, "But wait,
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
Then another man stood before you
And said, "Remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money,
But you gave it anyway.
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that's why I'm here today."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
One by one they came
Far as the eye could see.
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity.
Little things that you had done,
Sacrifices made,
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven, now proclaimed.
And I know up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes.
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord.
He said, "My child, look around you.
Great is your reward."
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Testimony
Dear all,
this is an amazing testimony of how God miraculously changed this girl's life. She recently came to Singapore to speak. Can download some of her sermons at http://www.coos.org.sg/
May it encourage you... He can change your life too, if you allow Him to...
Until I was 15 years old, I was convinced I was evil incarnate and nicknamed myself, "Lucifer." I hated Jesus and Christianity because I thought God condemned and rejected me. Instead, out of desperation for acceptance and attention, I turned to a life of homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, gang-banging, devil-worshipping, Buddhism, and violence. My Chinese parents, being disappointed about having a miscarriage of a boy, prayed to buddha for another boy. A year later came me, a girl named Allis. But in a way their prayers were answered. My first words were, "I'm a boy." As far as I can remember, I lived in fear, loneliness, hurt and torment from the rejection of believing I was a boy. By fifth grade, everyone knew me as the "freak" and I became a loner. I could never relate to the innocence the other kids had. Dark and sinister thoughts constantly ran through my head. I felt like I was going insane. By seventh grade, I met some devil worshippers who were also loners like me. I started hanging out with them. I felt like they understood me. Pretty soon, I started putting curses on the Christians on campus. I would purposely go out of my to persecute them and make them cry. I was so angry at God for playing such a "cruel joke" as making me what I believed to be, "a guy trapped in a girl's body." The Christians were so bothered they prayed for me. Most gave up by the ninth grade when I started an Asian gang at my school. But one girl named Janice remained hopeful and faithful in prayer. Ever since I was young, I found myself attracted to women. I believe it's mainly due to the lack of a relationship with my mother as well as the curse that was put on me in the womb. In sixth grade, I met this girl that I became obsessed with for the next four years. In the ninth grade, we started a sexual relationship that lasted for nine stormy months. She became my god, my mother, my world, my everything. Then my life came crumbling down in October, 1992. She broke up with me because her mom found out about us. So we ended it and I was OK. Then I found out she lied in order to get out of our relationship to be with a guy. I felt so worthless. I lost my reason for living. I became suicidal and tried to slit my wrists in front of her at school. During that week, I kept on trying to kill myself but something always stopped me. My gang didn't understand or let alone care. But Janice talked to me and told me that I need Jesus. In desperation, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I didn't feel much better so I went back to my room with the knife in my hand ready to kill myself. Then I thought, "Jesus, I'll give You one last chance." So I cried out, "Jesus, if You're real, show me and I'll give you my life." After I said it, I just wept and dropped the knife. I felt as if He was holding me. The three months following that moment were incredibly difficult and confusing. I felt pressured to become more feminine so I could fit in. I got a boyfriend and tried to be like the other Christian girls at my high school. But inside, I felt so lost, "Does God not love me just as I am?" Just like everyone else, He wanted me to be "normal." But God proved to me He is unlike any other. One night in January 1993, I was in my room listening to a Christian song, "Give Me A New Heart." Suddenly, I saw a bright light in the shape of a person appear out of nowhere. I was paralyzed in fear... I knew it was God. I started having flashbacks of all the bad things I did in my life. I was positive He came to personally reject me and escort me to hell where I belonged. He moved towards me slowly. I started weeping. Then He came close and opened His arms. I thought, "This is it, He's grabbing me to take me to hell." But instead of punishing me like I deserved, He embraced me. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I felt love and acceptance overwhelm me. It was the first time I cried tears of joy. He then reached into my chest and told me, "I am giving you My heart, for yours is tired, wounded, hard, and empty." I went into a deep sleep in total peace. When I awoke an hour later, the whole world looked so bright! For the first time in my life, I felt peace and joy! His love and mercy transformed me. I quickly called my gang and told them I wanted out. They threatened me but I wasn't scared. I knew if they killed me, I'd go straight to heaven. I knew now that Jesus is real and I had proof. For the next two years, I struggled to break free from my past with women and gang life in Los Angeles. I kept praying for a way out. Then, students from Cal came to my high school to recruit. I thought this could be it, but my SAT score and GPA were barely eligible for consideration. I applied anyway and prayed. I first got rejection letters from UCLA and UCSD. This basically meant rejection from UC Berkeley. But God surprised me again. At the end of April 1996, I received a big package from Cal. He wanted me there. My first hours at college seemed promising. I met other Christians on my floor and we hung out together. Then, at night, some people from my floor asked me to go to a frat party. I went. It was a tragic mistake. I got drunk and went right back into my old ways. I met a girl and we ended up getting into another relationship. I still held resentment towards God for not making me a man. I didn't believe I could change cause I saw no other alternative. I gave up on Him and myself. But He never gave up on me. After a year of the relationship, we got engaged. I was so proud about achieving my dream without God. I strived so hard to prove God wrong about making me a woman. I told God that if I'm wrong, He would have to prove it and show me another way. He heard. On October 1st, 1997, the fifth night following our engagement, she didn't come home. It was the worst night of my life. She left me for a guy. All I knew in life came to a screeching halt. It was time for God to take over. After that night, I couldn't eat or sleep for two days straight. I just wept. I didn't know what to do. This was my dead end. Then I saw God standing in my room. Once again, He held His arms open. But this time, He gave me the choice of whether I wanted to enter them. He made it clear to me that I would have to let go of all that I knew, all my ways, and everything worth anything to me including homosexuality. After three days of wrestling with fear and mistrust, I finally said OK and turned to Him. Soon after, God surrounded me with new friends that really supported and loved me. I continually wanted to go back to my old life but I knew my ways only led to misery in the end. So I trusted Him. A year later, a friend from San Diego invited me down to her church. Her pastor prayed for me and God showed me how my mom prayed for a boy. I shared about the vision with the pastor and he prayed for that curse to be broken. When He finished, I felt different. When I finally opened my eyes, everything looked so bright and new... as if I just came out of the womb! I then went into the bathroom to wash my face. I walked by the mirror and thought to myself, "Who's that other girl in here?" When I looked again, it was me. For the first time in my life, I realized that I was a woman! I was shocked! My face and demeanor changed dramatically. It was a miracle! As the pastor prayed for me the next morning, God told him that I was to be renamed Sarah. At first, I was skeptical. I asked God for a sign. Two weeks later, a woman who only knew me as Allis came up to me and said, "I don't know why, but every time I look at you, I hear the name 'Sarah.'" That was about four years ago and life hasn't been without difficulty or struggles. But it's been undoubtedly the best years of my life. I am now totally comfortable and happy that God has made me a woman. I love what He's done with my life! Come to meet me this week and you'll see for yourself how He's transformed me. I know my life is a miracle and there's only one reason I'm alive right now, because there is a real God who loves me and He proves it again and again. His name is Jesus Christ and He is good.
- Sarah Allis Yang
this is an amazing testimony of how God miraculously changed this girl's life. She recently came to Singapore to speak. Can download some of her sermons at http://www.coos.org.sg/
May it encourage you... He can change your life too, if you allow Him to...
Until I was 15 years old, I was convinced I was evil incarnate and nicknamed myself, "Lucifer." I hated Jesus and Christianity because I thought God condemned and rejected me. Instead, out of desperation for acceptance and attention, I turned to a life of homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, gang-banging, devil-worshipping, Buddhism, and violence. My Chinese parents, being disappointed about having a miscarriage of a boy, prayed to buddha for another boy. A year later came me, a girl named Allis. But in a way their prayers were answered. My first words were, "I'm a boy." As far as I can remember, I lived in fear, loneliness, hurt and torment from the rejection of believing I was a boy. By fifth grade, everyone knew me as the "freak" and I became a loner. I could never relate to the innocence the other kids had. Dark and sinister thoughts constantly ran through my head. I felt like I was going insane. By seventh grade, I met some devil worshippers who were also loners like me. I started hanging out with them. I felt like they understood me. Pretty soon, I started putting curses on the Christians on campus. I would purposely go out of my to persecute them and make them cry. I was so angry at God for playing such a "cruel joke" as making me what I believed to be, "a guy trapped in a girl's body." The Christians were so bothered they prayed for me. Most gave up by the ninth grade when I started an Asian gang at my school. But one girl named Janice remained hopeful and faithful in prayer. Ever since I was young, I found myself attracted to women. I believe it's mainly due to the lack of a relationship with my mother as well as the curse that was put on me in the womb. In sixth grade, I met this girl that I became obsessed with for the next four years. In the ninth grade, we started a sexual relationship that lasted for nine stormy months. She became my god, my mother, my world, my everything. Then my life came crumbling down in October, 1992. She broke up with me because her mom found out about us. So we ended it and I was OK. Then I found out she lied in order to get out of our relationship to be with a guy. I felt so worthless. I lost my reason for living. I became suicidal and tried to slit my wrists in front of her at school. During that week, I kept on trying to kill myself but something always stopped me. My gang didn't understand or let alone care. But Janice talked to me and told me that I need Jesus. In desperation, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I didn't feel much better so I went back to my room with the knife in my hand ready to kill myself. Then I thought, "Jesus, I'll give You one last chance." So I cried out, "Jesus, if You're real, show me and I'll give you my life." After I said it, I just wept and dropped the knife. I felt as if He was holding me. The three months following that moment were incredibly difficult and confusing. I felt pressured to become more feminine so I could fit in. I got a boyfriend and tried to be like the other Christian girls at my high school. But inside, I felt so lost, "Does God not love me just as I am?" Just like everyone else, He wanted me to be "normal." But God proved to me He is unlike any other. One night in January 1993, I was in my room listening to a Christian song, "Give Me A New Heart." Suddenly, I saw a bright light in the shape of a person appear out of nowhere. I was paralyzed in fear... I knew it was God. I started having flashbacks of all the bad things I did in my life. I was positive He came to personally reject me and escort me to hell where I belonged. He moved towards me slowly. I started weeping. Then He came close and opened His arms. I thought, "This is it, He's grabbing me to take me to hell." But instead of punishing me like I deserved, He embraced me. He whispered in my ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I felt love and acceptance overwhelm me. It was the first time I cried tears of joy. He then reached into my chest and told me, "I am giving you My heart, for yours is tired, wounded, hard, and empty." I went into a deep sleep in total peace. When I awoke an hour later, the whole world looked so bright! For the first time in my life, I felt peace and joy! His love and mercy transformed me. I quickly called my gang and told them I wanted out. They threatened me but I wasn't scared. I knew if they killed me, I'd go straight to heaven. I knew now that Jesus is real and I had proof. For the next two years, I struggled to break free from my past with women and gang life in Los Angeles. I kept praying for a way out. Then, students from Cal came to my high school to recruit. I thought this could be it, but my SAT score and GPA were barely eligible for consideration. I applied anyway and prayed. I first got rejection letters from UCLA and UCSD. This basically meant rejection from UC Berkeley. But God surprised me again. At the end of April 1996, I received a big package from Cal. He wanted me there. My first hours at college seemed promising. I met other Christians on my floor and we hung out together. Then, at night, some people from my floor asked me to go to a frat party. I went. It was a tragic mistake. I got drunk and went right back into my old ways. I met a girl and we ended up getting into another relationship. I still held resentment towards God for not making me a man. I didn't believe I could change cause I saw no other alternative. I gave up on Him and myself. But He never gave up on me. After a year of the relationship, we got engaged. I was so proud about achieving my dream without God. I strived so hard to prove God wrong about making me a woman. I told God that if I'm wrong, He would have to prove it and show me another way. He heard. On October 1st, 1997, the fifth night following our engagement, she didn't come home. It was the worst night of my life. She left me for a guy. All I knew in life came to a screeching halt. It was time for God to take over. After that night, I couldn't eat or sleep for two days straight. I just wept. I didn't know what to do. This was my dead end. Then I saw God standing in my room. Once again, He held His arms open. But this time, He gave me the choice of whether I wanted to enter them. He made it clear to me that I would have to let go of all that I knew, all my ways, and everything worth anything to me including homosexuality. After three days of wrestling with fear and mistrust, I finally said OK and turned to Him. Soon after, God surrounded me with new friends that really supported and loved me. I continually wanted to go back to my old life but I knew my ways only led to misery in the end. So I trusted Him. A year later, a friend from San Diego invited me down to her church. Her pastor prayed for me and God showed me how my mom prayed for a boy. I shared about the vision with the pastor and he prayed for that curse to be broken. When He finished, I felt different. When I finally opened my eyes, everything looked so bright and new... as if I just came out of the womb! I then went into the bathroom to wash my face. I walked by the mirror and thought to myself, "Who's that other girl in here?" When I looked again, it was me. For the first time in my life, I realized that I was a woman! I was shocked! My face and demeanor changed dramatically. It was a miracle! As the pastor prayed for me the next morning, God told him that I was to be renamed Sarah. At first, I was skeptical. I asked God for a sign. Two weeks later, a woman who only knew me as Allis came up to me and said, "I don't know why, but every time I look at you, I hear the name 'Sarah.'" That was about four years ago and life hasn't been without difficulty or struggles. But it's been undoubtedly the best years of my life. I am now totally comfortable and happy that God has made me a woman. I love what He's done with my life! Come to meet me this week and you'll see for yourself how He's transformed me. I know my life is a miracle and there's only one reason I'm alive right now, because there is a real God who loves me and He proves it again and again. His name is Jesus Christ and He is good.
- Sarah Allis Yang
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