Saturday, July 15, 2006

Dating a non-Christian...Hmmm..Is that okay?

Dear all,

Some of you who saw the title must be wondering.. hmmm.. is Sinli contemplating a relationship with a non-Christian? well, fortunately the answer is 'no' (for today and hopefully forever). This post was taken from Joshua Harris' sermon on 'What it costs to follow Christ' ...this article caught my eye because one of my close friends has recently started a relationship with a non-believer and it really grieves my heart to know that there is a possibility that she will fall away from God because of this new relationship. Technically, a relationship with a non-believer is not the starting point for backsliding.. backsliding starts when we begin to feel that having God does not make us 'complete'...and we need something/someone to make us feel complete/valued. Therefore, we seek for someone to fulfill our needs.
If we cannot learn to be contented in Christ when we're single, we will never be contented even when we're attached because our hopes will be in our spouse/bf/gf to fulfill our needs. One thing which we really need to remember is that if we rely on humans to fulfill all our needs, we'll be disappointed because humans can fail us but if we put our trust in the Lord and learn to be content in God, we will not be disappointed because He is faithful.
Is my relationship with this non-Christian guy OK?” --Joshua Harris' answer
Because of the topics that I’ve taught on in the past and the books that I’ve written, there have been so many occasions when I have encountered young men and women who are in a relationship with a person that is not a believer in Jesus Christ. And this seems to be in particular young women who will come, and they’ll talk about their desire to live for Jesus and to give their life to Him. But there’s this guy in the picture. And there is a relationship that has been formed, and there are affections, and there is a growing love for this person. But this person is going in the opposite direction from their Savior. And they’re often confused, and they’re often distraught and they often don’t know what to do. And when you quote the passage about not being ‘unequally yoked’--this kind of picture from agriculture and cows and stuff, just really isn’t doing anything for them. ‘Yoke. Cows. What? He’s so cute--what does that have to do with a cow, you know?’ And they’ll often have a desire to try to care for this guy. They don’t want to hurt his feelings. They think they can reach him with the gospel, and they’ll just stay in this relationship.”

“And what I say each and every time is: ‘You’re facing a choice. If you are truly a follower of Jesus Christ, then you must choose Jesus and you must turn your back on that guy. In fact, if you have a desire for him to see the reality of Jesus Christ, the most loving thing that you can do is show him that you are more committed to Jesus than you are to him. If you want to show that guy that God is real, then obey the God who is real and choose Him over this relationship –with a person that doesn’t know Him, doesn’t follow Him, doesn’t obey Him. Those are hard words, but those are the words of Jesus."
***hopefully this post can shed some light on some very practical issues in our lives. In this blog, we do not only discuss super serious stuffs like praying, daily devotional time, sacrificing for Christ...etc but we would also be open to discuss issues that Christians may face everyday..Let Christ be in every decision that we make, every step that we take and every breathe inhaled !
~feel free to disagree with me coz my view may be biased as I'm pretty much influenced by Joshua Harris' writing. I'm not against relationships but I only believe in investing in a relationship that brings glory to God.. If you're wondering why i'm writing such a weird post, it's because i've just attended a Nigerian wedding this morning .. i've not been bitten by some random love bug :P

1 comment:

pp said...

I happen to quite like Joshua Harris' writings too. I've read his books 'I've kissed dating goodbye' and 'boy meets girl'. What he wrote in his first book really made me think twice abt getting into a relationship. If you're like me, it's easy to rush into a relationship for the sake of it, afraid you'll lose the 'chance', being impatient etc. I've made the above mistake and suffered the consequences of it but God has been very gracious to me.
Even with a christian other half, i admit it's easy for God to become sidelined and him/her to become the most impt person in your life. I'm challenged by God that i must put Him first before my partner, and if He says so, i must be willing to let go of the relationship when He says the word. Like God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. If i'm not willing to do that, that i must question if this relationship is pleasing to God.
it's not easy. it's a struggle. But i believe as we draw close to God and know how much He loves us, we'll learn to trust Him and His ways for us, and we'll trust that He knows who and what is best for us.
And we wouldnt even have to look for a partner cos He'll provide you with the perfect one :)